‘不要脸’和‘很不要脸’两个词之间往往都有很大的区别。                                                                        打个比方吧。                                                                        一个不要脸的人他只敢在公车上摸美女屁股。                                                                        而像我这种很不要脸的家伙现在就敢在公交车上不要命的脱美女裤子                                                                        嘛。                                                                        在讲我在公车上脱美女裤子的坑爹事之前我先介绍下自己吧！                                                                        我叫林怀银，十八岁，刚提前高考完毕。                                                                        厄，主要是因为刚才在考试时当场将监考老师的丝袜给撕了，这才导致我光荣且幸运的提前完成了所有考试。                                                                        得先解释下，我肯定不是因为犯贱才这么做...                                                                        怎么说呢                                                                        我本应当是属于那种看着美女只能内心意淫而不敢动手动脚胡来的普通宅男。可生活总是坑爹事件连连有，一不小心自己的人生就会被改变。                                                                        是的，在高考的前一天我碰到了个猥琐老头。                                                                        “小子，我看你天赋异禀骨骼惊奇，是一块练武的好材料，不如花五块钱在老夫这里买一个神奇的系统如何”                                                                        “神奇的系统？”我当时就傻眼了。                                                                        “是啊，可以让你从**丝变成高富帅，从小丁丁五厘米成长到二十厘米的神器！”                                                                        本来。                                                                        听到高富帅我是没多大兴趣的，可听到小丁丁可以长到二十厘米，我二话不说，拍出五块大洋就从他的杂货摊位上欢乐逗逼的购买了下来。                                                                        这不                                                                        只打算当尊老行动捐献五大洋的我，脑子里竟真的是神奇出现了一个奇葩选择系统。                                                                        “日常任务，支线任务，主线任务！”                                                                        因为显示出来的的只有三条选项，所以我当时就很好奇的点了第一条。                                                                        “叮任务选择完毕。”                                                                        “叮日常任务随机启动，玩家在今日24点之前将会随时随地随机获得任务。（完成今天日常任务获得奖励经验值*5)！”                                                                        就是因为是手贱的点了这东西，这才出现了我在考场中当场撕了监考老师的丝袜事故！                                                                        “叮日常任务启动，玩家必须在十分钟撕掉监考老师的肉色丝袜。若任务未完成，玩家小丁丁将缩短一厘米！”                                                                        当时就是这个原因。                                                                        诺。                                                                        那时我能怎么抉择？                                                                        所以，我现在还可以偷乐，明天能上新闻了。                                                                        当然                                                                        不止撕丝袜的那一条因为现在脑子里，再度浮现出了任务！                                                                        “叮日常任务启动，玩家必须在下车之前将前方身穿学生制服的女生裤子脱掉。若任务未完成，玩家性能力降低十分钟！”                                                                        好了。                                                                        现在的我是正在公车上，苦着脸站在这妹纸的身后。                                                                        鬼知道我现在是什么样的心情                                                                        性能力降低十分钟？                                                                        我草，坑爹啊！                                                                        开什么国际玩笑。这不是要逼我秉承死道友不死贫道的伟大精神吗？                                                                        想了想。                                                                        我一咬牙，为了自己未来的性福，也为了满足下公车色狼的眼福，我伸出手，猛的就是对着前面的美女裤子一拉                                                                        咔..                                                                        咦...                                                                        绑了皮带了？                                                                        没拉下来，于是我更用力的一扯...                                                                        撕拉..                                                                        裤子扯破了！                                                                        哗！                                                                        是粉红色的一块薄布。                                                                        你大爷的还是用绳子绑的那种类型？                                                                        嘛。                                                                        我就看到这些了。                                                                        之后我很庆幸自己没有被打死，是鼻青脸肿的逃车了。                                                                        当然。                                                                        我没想到那个看起来挺是漂亮的瓜子脸大美女竟然有勇气提着裤子追着我下了车，要不是我见她身手了得，自知两个我也不可能是她的对手，大爷我就要日了她了。                                                                        “变态，别跑！”                                                                        她对着我大喊。                                                                        “傻逼才不跑！”                                                                        “别让老娘抓到你，到时我他妈的保证打不死你！”她指着我大叫...                                                                        见这妞提着裤子跑得慢，我也是得意的对着她竖起根中指。                                                                        跟老子得瑟？                                                                        “打啊？有种你他妈来打我啊？”我机智的把她甩的更远，装b了起来。                                                                        啊。                                                                        其实我也不觉得做这种事要咋样，毕竟我是无辜的嘛...                                                                        这女人这么过分，我回敬一下也无所谓。                                                                        只是...                                                                        “叮...日常任务启动。玩家必须在三分钟内跑到女子面前道歉，任务失败回家后将遭到惩罚！”                                                                        厄。                                                                        一个任务再度出现，我他妈当时就傻眼了...                                                                        “狗屎！”                                                                        这系统要是一个物品，我立刻就把它抓起来狠狠的砸在地上。                                                                        开什么国际玩笑？                                                                        坑老子！？                                                                        这次过去我若是不被她打死老子林字倒着写！                                                                        我就不信了！                                                                        这系统能有多准..性能力会降低，还会小丁丁变短，我倒是想看看会遭遇什么惩罚！                                                                        唔..                                                                        好了。                                                                        现在得介绍下我家庭状况了！                                                                        我家挺有钱的，有对死鬼爸妈，厄，都不在家，两个人在外国工作，自从我上高中后除了每个月寄生活费给我和我妹之外电话也是差不多半年没一个                                                                        嘛。                                                                        暂且不论那些。                                                                        但我不是亲生的，亲生的是我妹。                                                                        我是小时候被碰巧在茅坑旁捡到，顺便就拉回了家。                                                                        而现在...                                                                        因为躲避刚才那个暴力女的缘故，我回家还特地等了许久，机智的等到到那边不见人影了才乖乖的溜了回去。                                                                        是的。                                                                        打开家门，提心吊胆的我没有遇到所谓的惩罚，也是松了口气。                                                                        “欧尼酱，回来啦？！”                                                                        首先，打开门的是我妹。                                                                        这妞见到我，当即是嘿嘿笑了起来。                                                                        我不知道她为啥喜欢叫我欧尼酱，估计是日本动漫看多了..不过，好贱...我喜欢！                                                                        “你干嘛笑的这么贼？不会又偷看了我电脑黄片吧？”我面无表情的走了进去，一屁股坐在了沙发上。                                                                        “哎呀，瞧你说的！”她笑眯眯的走到了我旁边，对着我使着眼色“今天有好事哦！”                                                                        我妹妹。                                                                        林瑶，和我同个学校高三。                                                                        瓜子脸，柳叶眉，加上一双有神的大眼睛，她是一个不错的美女。不过这妞做事比较腹黑调皮，做人更是瑕疵必报，属于一个女人中的小人。爱好是看黄书加黄色动漫。                                                                        “啥好事？你胸部变大了？”我问。                                                                        “切，瞧你说的，好像你妹我胸部就很小一样！”她很是得意道“我都快b了！”                                                                        “我很佩服你有说出这话的勇气！”我认真的看着她的胸。                                                                        “哎呀，和你说认真的，老爸打电话回来了，说有一个朋友的女儿要在我们家过段日子唔，刚刚到了哦，就藏着等着你，是大美女呢！”她对着我挑了挑眉毛“怎么样，有兴趣不？想不想瞧瞧？”                                                                        不是                                                                        我怎么听到这话，有种不妙的预感。                                                                        但说是大美女                                                                        好吧！                                                                        纯洁有爱加正直善良的我，就勉为其难的看下吧                                                                        老爸朋友的女儿吗？                                                                        “出来吧，瑾萱，这就是我给你说的我那帅气逼人，纯洁可爱，一点也不好色不用担心对你不轨的好哥哥林怀银！”                                                                        林瑶拍着手，乐呵呵的从墙壁后欢迎了个妹纸出来“当当当当欧尼酱，怎么样？漂亮吧？咦欧尼酱？老哥？这是美女没错，但你也不要吃惊的一动不动啊，这叫你妹我情何以堪？”                                                                        我已经吓尿了。                                                                        吃惊?                                                                        我他大爷的差不多要吃精了啊！                                                                        “不带这样的吧！”                                                                        我想哭                                                                        同样，我明白了，这就是惩罚！                                                                        我有一种想撞墙的冲动！                                                                        “嗯？瑾萱，你也怎么了？脸色绿成这样？”林瑶这小妞也是歪头看着那妞。                                                                        好吧。                                                                        这是我在公车上脱裤子的女孩。                                                                        是的。                                                                        我明白她为啥要下车了                                                                        只不过，那些不是重点重点是刚才我那么嚣张                                                                        “这就是我和你说的，刚才在公交车上脱我裤子的变态！”她冷下脸。                                                                        “脱你裤子？”林瑶一愣，旋即惊恐的看着我“噢fk，欧尼酱，我让你脱你都不脱，以为是你性取向出了问题，原来是你好这一口”                                                                        我等等先fk了你！                                                                        “喂等等，童鞋，美女喂喂，你握拳干嘛别过来啊，我很能打的站住你你再过来试试再过来我哭给你看了！”看到那妞杀气腾腾的走向了我，我都快吓哭了                                                                        可惜。                                                                        她没停下。                                                                        “且听我一言啊，女侠！”我最终落泪了。                                                                        “说！”                                                                        好了，她拳头握的更紧，阴沉着脸，被女侠两字触动，停下脚步                                                                        “你你说过，保证打不死我的”我颤抖着道。